“Hey Katelyn! Have you heard about Usborne Books & More? They are a great company that sell high quality and affordable children’s books. I would love for you to attend my Usborne Books & More Facebook Party on Thursday, May 12, 2016 @8:30pm Central time…”
Oh great. Another friend is messaging you on Facebook about another party for Usborne Books & More! What is it with these people? Why are so many people obsessed with Usborne Books & More? Don’t they know that you have 10 perfectly legitimate reasons to not want to buy books from Usborne?
10 Reasons You Should NOT BUY Books from Usborne Books & More
1.) You think books are dumb. There are way better, more mind-numbing ways to be entertained. Reading is way too much work.
2.) You think the studies suggesting that a child’s exposure to various reading materials at home, and children reading for fun, playing a critical role in a child’s growth as readers and academically is really just a conspiracy invented by book companies to increase sales of children’s books.
3.) You prefer your children waste their free time at home in front of the TV or a tablet rather than reading a book. Besides, movies and video games are better at expanding your child’s vocabulary and imagination.
4.) You are afraid your child will become addicted to Usborne’s delightful stories and creative and engaging illustrations and become a dreaded book worm!
5.) You don’t mind shelling out good money to the library, paying full price to replace books your child or dog destroys, and therefore don’t want to take advantage of Usborne Books & More’s 50% off replacement policy for life.
6.) You love giving your nieces and nephews and your friends’ kids toys and trinkets and things that are broken, discarded, forgotten, consumed, or destroyed quickly rather than something they can use and read over and over again. I mean, if a kids’ present doesn’t require batteries or have small parts, is it really a good gift? Honestly, you cringe at the thought of little kids discovering new interests through the pages of engaging, quality books.
7.) You don’t believe in reading to your child at home! That’s why you send your child to school every day isn’t it? That’s the teachers job, not yours.
8.) You don’t believe in investing in your child’s future, even though only 100 pieces of printed material in a child’s home is shown to improve reading scores and the likelihood your child will graduate from college. Usborne Books & More’s collection of almost 1000 affordably priced books priced at $10 or less is highway robbery and akin to flushing money down the drain anyway.
9.) You’re afraid that all the amazing non-fiction books from Usborne Books & More – their amazing encyclopedias, illustrated dictionaries, See-Inside books, and true adventure stories – will make your child smarter than you! That type of thing is completely unacceptable in your home. You cringe at the thought of your child discovering new interests through the pages of engaging, quality books.
10.) You are all for big business and hate supporting independent Usborne Books & More consultants who are trying to earn extra money for their families, and hate your friends who host these Usborne Books & More Facebook parties in the hopes of earning free books for their kids, and for sharing a product they genuinely love with you. Ugh. Don’t they know you just want to support companies that pay their employees low wages and commissions and yet have CEOs who make millions or billions of dollars? Entrepreneurship, small business owners, and self-employed individuals are lazy and should get real jobs already, preferably working long hours, doing things they hate, so they can barely pay the bills, and never see their families.
Really, there are more than 10 reasons you shouldn’t buy Usborne Books & More, what with their mission to educate children and improve literacy in the United States, among other similarly gross values.
So, no, I won’t be attending Katelyn’s Usborne Books & More Facebook Launch Party. I have way more important things to do… like watching another episode of some TV show I don’t really care about.
I hope you enjoyed the satirical rant above about why you shouldn’t buy books from Usborne Books & More! I became an Usborne Books & More Independent Sales Consultant a few weeks ago.
*UPDATE: I no longer sell Usborne books and more. If you are interested in a fun way to regularly (and inexpensively) build your child’s library, look into Bookroo! Bookroo delivers 2-3 books to your home every month, wrapped like gifts, for your family to enjoy. The subscription fee is only $17.99/month or only $16.66/month with a 3-month subscription, plus $5 S&H in the US ($16 to Canada, and $25 everywhere else).
However, they are currently offering my readers 20% off a new 1 or 3-month subscription with code READ2017. That makes a 1-month subscription only $14.40/month plus shipping or $13.33/month plus shipping with a 3-month subscription. For 2-3 brand-new, high-quality books, it’s a pretty great deal! It would make a great gift for a new mom or for a child’s birthday.
You can see my full review of Bookroo in my post about how I taught my homeschooled children to read.
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