I am one of those lucky “unicorn” women who have relatively easy pregnancies. I never throw up, ever, during my pregnancies. I’m one of those fortunate women who doesn’t have to pee every 15 minutes, who sleep through the night all nine months, who carry their babies like a cute basketball (or mini torpedo) stuck under their shirts, who don’t go into preterm labor, who has never been on bed rest (yes, even with my twin pregnancy), who hasn’t had gestational diabetes or high blood pressure, or wobbled hopelessly like a duck. My C-section was also planned and I was well prepared for it. My vaginal delivery went off without any complications.
Plus, I generally enjoy being pregnant.
So, when I find myself in the midst of women who are sharing pregnancy horror stories, boasting of how they had it worse, I never really know what to say during these pregnancy conversations, because I tend to feel like the odd woman out.
While a few categories I can usually win, like the longest labor (38 hours), furthest past my due date (13 days), number of babies carried at once (2), amount of weight gained (50+ lbs), and the biggest baby (babies) delivered (9lbs 8oz singleton; 6lbs 14 oz and 6lbs 15oz twins – so almost 14lbs of baby at once), I feel sheepish many times to bring such things up!
How can I complain (or brag) when friend “Beth” had hospital bed rest for two long months, threw up all day long, every day, and still delivered a preterm baby in an emergency C-section? And even though I have had miscarriages (which are awful), they were early (7 weeks gestation or earlier) and again, compared to others who have lost children further in their pregnancies, had a stillborn, or lost a child post-birth, how can I complain? How can I really?
I don’t want to make others feel even worse about their experiences. And I certainly don’t want to come off as insensitive to those who suffered.
Read my whole post on what I feel and do during these pregnancy debates over at Clarks Condensed today. I hope you’ll find my message applies to all pregnant women, no matter what type of pregnancy or birth you had.