While there are lots of times I don’t feel like an awesome Mom, for many different reasons, from the lack of cute fashionable clothes and toys for my girls to the amount of yelling I sometimes do at them, and everything in between, I feel like there is enough negativity in the world today and enough blogs in the blogosphere about the “hard things” about raising kids. Today I want to share the awesomeness of having a family, of being a mother.
Recently there have been times when I have felt like an awesome Mom, when I think, these kids just might turn out alright, when I think our family would look good on a postcard or in a Lifetime movie because we are so cute and happy, when I think that my outpouring of love towards my children is perfect.
Here is one example:
Lately I have been asking Josh to take a walk with me after dinner. Wednesday night, instead of a walk, Josh insisted that we go to Lowe’s instead and buy some ant poison since we’ve been having a slight ant problem in our bathroom. He also told the girls that we were going to get candy. Random, but he totally loves treating and spoiling our girls on occasion. So, after we got done at Lowe’s we decided to hop over to Wal-mart which was just next store.
We decided that since we were only at Wal-mart to get some candy for the girls, we’d wouldn’t bother with strollers or carts and have the girls walk. Having our twins walk freely in a store is like a disaster waiting to happen most of the time. But, today we weren’t in a rush. We didn’t have anywhere else to be.
We entered in the garden section, or the section farthest away from the food, and walked all the way through the store. The girls wanted to play with balls from the ball cage. Alison decided that the movie “Exorcist” should be added to our collection and grabbed it off the low shelf, and then admired a camera case before chasing after Daddy and sister.
When we got closer to the food, the girls made a break for the dairy section, Lisa snatching a bag of string cheese and Alison grabbing (randomly) a container of fresh diced tomatoes (also in the dairy section?). We chased them down, with them exploding in fits of giggles as we approached. We finally lured them over to the candy aisle where we instructed them to pick candies from a certain section. Alison picked Reese’s Fast Break candies, and Lisa picked Hershey’s Chocolate Bars, mostly because they were at eye level.
As we went to the cash register, little girls meandering in everyone’s way, we were all smiling. Our girls had a blast shopping and having free range of a grocery store, for like the first time ever. They put the items on the counter for the cashier, laying on the charm. As we left the store, we all held hands, Lisa and Alison in the middle. And Alison would lift up her feet so she could hang there, and Lisa was wondering what she was trying to pull, to which strangers walking by laughed and thought it was so cute, because, indeed it was.
It was in that moment I felt like I had the perfect little family. (Put us on a postcard please!) We had a simple family outing for chocolate, with no major tantrums, but lots of exploration, lots of fun. I felt so happy. I felt like an awesome Mom to have such awesome two-year olds who were so curious and cute.
Other examples of this feeling happen in the quiet moments I have with them at home, moments when we talk together, one-on-one, where we look into each others eyes and smile at each other and laugh and play. When I feel like I am my child’s whole world and realize they are indeed mine. When I look at them and realize how big they are now, how wonderfully they are saying words and sentences, how they can do more and more “big kid” things all the time. It’s those moments when I think how much they look like me and Josh, and how much they act like Josh and me. I marvel at how beautiful they are. I marvel that they love me so much and each other. It’s in these moments that I feel like I’m an awesome mom. I feel like an awesome mother because I am giving my undivided, fully invested time to my child and they love every second of it.
Times like this are often hard to adequately describe to others as something different, out of the ordinary, something special. But, they are. And these moments are surprisingly often if I let them be. Sure kids misbehave daily when two-years old, but I am starting to feel like an awesome mom by knowing what to do when that happens. I’m starting to feel like an awesome mom when I take my kids outside and let them walk to the slides in our complex after we get the mail. I feel like an awesome mom when I stick to routines. I feel like an awesome mom when I help my children learn a new word or expose them to new foods and new experiences.
I feel like an awesome mom when I sing and dance with my children. I feel like an awesome mom when I forgo my inhibitions and agendas and do what feels natural and right for me and my family. And I love feeling like I’m an awesome mom.