As new parents of twins, my husband and I received special attention from strangers, as we passed by them our double stroller or dual infant car seats, or otherwise wrangled them.
And it became apparent really quick that people have no idea what to say when confronted with this rarity that is having twins.
Only 33 twins are born per every 1,000 births (source), so despite twins births being on the rise, it’s still not common to know or see a lot of twins.
While people already love to touch pregnant bellies of strangers, or shout at them while pregnant, they also really love babies! So, when a stranger sees not just one, but two babies, they often feel the need to comment to the parents of the twins about it.
Now, the range of what is said to parents of twins spans a broad spectrum. Some are clearly jealous. Some second-guess their own child-birthing choices. Some just baffle in wonderment at how parenting twins would actually work.
As first-time parents to twins, there is a lot we ourselves haven’t figured out yet, or know. But, we do know that we are gonna do our best to roll with our reality and blessing that is being parents of twins.
Things People Say to Parents of Twins
We have heard at least 30 different remarks about having twins. Many of them are as follows:
“Oh no! Twins!”
“Are they twins? Is a boy and a girl? Two boys? Two girls?”
“Are they identical?”
And then after we say they are NOT identical we get often get questions about if they are boy/girl, or how we tell them apart anyway.
“I don’t know how you tell them apart. Must be because you’re their parents. I would have to put a bracelet on one or something.”
Our twin girls look nothing alike. I want to ask if they can tell their two sons/daughters apart.
“I can’t imagine having twins!”
“I had two kids really close in age. I felt like I had twins.”
Two kids close in age is its own challenge and blessing, but it is just not the same as having two at once.
“Do you always dress them the same?”
“You must not be getting any sleep! You must be exhausted.”
“Two for one, huh?”
“I’ve always wanted twins!!”
“My ___(fill in relation)___ has twin ___(fill in genders)__”
And twin parents care because…?
“I don’t know how you do it!”
“I couldn’t do it.”
So you would’ve abandoned one at birth or what?
“How old are they?”
“What a great blessing!”
“You have your hands full.”
“I had only one baby at a time and that was hard enough!”
“Better you than me!”
“Do twins run in your family?”
“Are they natural? or did you have fertility treatments?“
This is perhaps one of my favorite questions, because why would I tell a random stranger if I had fertility problems? And actually, I had twins because I am extra fertile, rather than infertile, thank you.
“They are so beautiful! Congratulations.”
“I could never do that! How do you do it?”
“Do they have different personalities? Is one the ‘evil’ twin?”
“Just wait until they get older! It gets harder!”
Thanks for your vote of confidence. Isn’t every stage hard in some way? And doesn’t every stage also bring with it some ease? Isn’t that parenthood? Isn’t that life?
“Do they wake each other up? Do they set each other off?”
No, not usually…
“That’s so neat!”
“I bet they’ll be the best of friends.”
“I’ve always wanted a twin!”
“You’re so lucky!”
Now, I know having and parenting twins is hard, tiring, and stressful. Because it is, especially when they both do cry at the same time…
But other times they are so adorable!
Do you realize how wonderful it is to cuddle with two babies? To have two babies smiling at you at the same time?
To see two babies cuddle with each other?
To have two babies sleeping on you or with you at the same time?
I feel so absolutely blessed to be a mother of twins. I don’t know why I was blessed with twins, other than God thought I needed to be.
A lady at the store the other day asked me “How is having twins?” and I answered “Great!”
I really think this took her off guard. She responded with the “Having one at a time was hard enough” response.
But, seriously, having twins is such a blessing.
Yes, it is hard, but so rewarding. I love spending every day with my honeys! So, I’ll take whatever things people say to parents of twins if it means I get to be the one blessed to have them.
For more posts about parenting twins, check out these great posts:
- How to stop twins from hitting each other
- Twin Sleeping Arrangements from Birth and Beyond
- How my homeschooled twins learned how to read
- What I learned from breastfeeding twins for 13 months
- Twin vs Singleton Pregnancy
- How to transition twins to toddler beds
- What having twins is really like
This post was originally published June 27, 2010, when our newborn twins were only a couple months old.