As I wrote in my journal all the things that have been going on lately, I not only wrote about all the sickness and misfortune, but also about all the good deeds of others reaching out to us. It is when I did so that I had to stop. I was overcome with humility and an outpouring of gratitude. It was then that I had the delightful feeling of perspective. Some day Josh and I will be able to look back at this time in our life, our first few years of marriage together, and see more clearly the good from the bad.
I know that I have been mentioning on this blog all of the blessings we have, the things we are grateful for in our lives, and there’s a reason for it – we can’t ever forget it. Josh and I need to remember each and every individual who has helped us in our 3 years together: their gifts, their time, their talents, their love, their prayers on our behalf. We need to remember because some day we will be held responsible to pay it forward to others who are like us now.
I do believe that some day we will be blessed and more able to pay it forward to others. While at this time money is not our strong suit, nor is amble time, modes of transportation, or much else, but some day they will be (or so I keep telling myself!). Some times I hate that we are the “project” in our ward, the poor family. I hate always calling people for favors. I hate being a burden on others–just ask Josh how much I loathe asking people for help sometimes! It has gotten easier over the years (and past months), but man, no one wants to be that person, the person everyone dreads seeing pop up on their caller ID, because they need something… again.
But there is a time and a season for everything. Right now our season is a season of receiving despite how we hate it, how we wish we were in a different season. We want to give back, to repay, to really make sure people understand how much we appreciate their gestures, and often feel that words are just so inadequate. But, words are sometimes all we have.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and time of peace.
– Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
I just pray that some day when we are in a season of life where we can give that we will give, and give freely, that we’ll remember those early years of our marriage and how hard they were. May we then be the hands of generosity that have been reaching out to us.
May we all remember that everything has a season and a purpose.