Even though my husband has been a graduate student the last two years, I have been spoiled as a graduate spouse. His schedule may have meant some long days, but those long days were usually followed by slow days, days at home with me and the kids. He purposefully tried to have his classes – both those he taught and attended – on the same two or three days a week. He would just stay on campus all day those days, working on homework and class prep between classes. He would sometimes work on his off days, either at home or on campus, but only for a few hours. He was home a lot.
I was spoiled.
I realize that as this last week my husband started a full-time job as a test evaluator. A job that has regular hours each and every day. It’s been weird. And different. He’s been picking up extra hours too (including Saturday morning) and is gone from about 8am until 6pm, every day.
The last time my husband had full time work was when he was teaching at the high school, but even then he was home by about 3:30pm. For the last two years I have been spoiled because I have had ample time to spend with the man I love most, my very bestest of best friends.
On the days my husband was not in classes or teaching we often did things together. Not always, but often. I was especially spoiled that my husband always joined me at the grocery store where we could divide and conquer. He could take one child (or two) while I took the other(s) and split up the shopping list so we could ideally be done sooner. He would also often take the kids out by himself to run errands or to give me a break. He’d also let me sleep in some mornings, take a nap during the day, and then clean up the kitchen. We would also go out and run errands, together, just because. We would also go to the park together. I was spoiled to have my husband, my children’s father, with us so much. So many kids and wives aren’t so lucky!
But, right now our schedule is different, and will be for the next month or two as Josh works full-time to make extra money for us so we can move to Texas. Not only is Josh burnt out already after a solid week and a half of working 9 hours M-F plus 4+ hours on Saturday, but my days are long as well. I no longer have my parenting partner to take over when I’ve just had enough during the day. He’s also tired and wore out by the end of the night and doesn’t love dealing with the childhood bedtime drama, or me wanting to work on blogging after he’s home.
I’ve also been in charge of making dinner, which has generally been Josh’s responsibility. I don’t really like to cook, but meal planning has been great at not only helping me be more organized, but helping us save money. I am also fully in charge of most homemaking duties – laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.
It all makes me extremely grateful for my husband’s schedule the last two years. As crazy as its been at times, I was spoiled. I know our current work situation is very temporary, ending in less than two months, but I have no idea how demanding or long my husband’s future doctorate schedule will be. I’m inclined to believe it won’t be as open as his Masters though.
I guess it means I will just have to be more organized and have more structure for our days, all of which may prove to be very great things for our family, especially in the long run as we move forward with homeschooling our children.
Tell me, what is your schedule like in your home? Do you see your spouse a lot?