Every person has their faults, myself included, and I, for some reason, want to share with you some of my imperfections, my faults, my bad habits, my quirks. I guess because I’m an honest person and I thought it would be fun. I want you to know some of the little “struggles” I face as a person, a woman, a wife, and a mother.
1. I cannot open things (most of the time) without ripping the bag, without hurting my hand, or without making a mess. Example: Opening the cereal bag inside the box… I almost always tear it down the sides. Josh makes fun of me all the time for this imperfection because it’s ridiculous and embarrassing, but a fact of who I am. Despite my best efforts to open things without tearing them, I fail time and time again. Baby jars as of late have hurt my hand when trying to open them too! If Josh is home, I try to have him open things for me. That’s what husbands are for anyways, right?
2. I fill silences. Anyone who knows me knows I love to talk, and talk, and talk. I would trade a good conversation with someone over a fun activity any day. Well, when Josh and I are mad at each other, or I’m getting to know someone for the first time, I feel the need to fill the awkward silence. I’ve learned though, that with Josh, it’s best to let there be silence so he can think and cool off, but it’s hard for me sometimes. I just want to smooth things over quickly and effectively, to talk it out, but he needs silence, and I learned that early on in our relationship.
However, filling the silence with people I’m trying to get to know, I all too often fill it with “filler words” like “Yeah, I don’t know” “You know what I mean?” “So…” “I mean…” and so on. I know I’m doing it too, and that’s the worst part. I know I am filling the silence with meaningless words over and over again, but I can’t seem to stop doing it! It’s embarrassing and I must come off as nervous and stupid to the person who’s trying to get to know me. Why do I do this?
3. I’m unsympathetic. I’m not saying I don’t care about people or things that happen to them, or all that, but I am saying that I am just not affected by it to a large degree. Maybe it’s because I have the gift of being tough in difficult times, of ever being the optimistic, but I sometimes hate the fact that I can’t really sympathize. When someone is hurting, I never know what is best to say. Instead, I just try to listen and give comforting words. I do feel bad for them, or sad, depending on their situation, but I am to a large degree unable to empathize with them. I don’t want to come off as heartless, or be heartless, but I often fear that I do! Maybe that’s why I’ve become a mother, so I can develop these attributes.
4. I’m indecisive. This fault often causes contention in my marriage as I can never make up my mind (or I simply want Josh to read my mind). I can’t decide on when I want to do something, what we should do, where we should go, or what we should eat. It doesn’t help that Josh is often the same way, and that we both can be very opinionated at times about what we think is best, being stubborn in the process. I also don’t like when people (Josh) tell me what to do. Josh has begun using reverse psychology on me, which I have to admit almost works.
5. I’m a picker. I pop zits, and pick scabs. I often do it while bored… I know I shouldn’t but I do. And I hate to admit this one too, ’cause it’s gross.
6. I repeat the same tune over and over. I often hum or whistle or sing. That’s a known fact to anyone who’s ever lived with me. My roommates once played a game where they started singing a song, or whistling/humming it and waited to see if I would start singing/whistling it too, and then changed to a different tune to see if I would start humming that one, and I did, every time. I think I picked up this habit from my mother because she always does it too. Anyways, I have a very bad habit of taking a small part of a song, one phrase of a song, just the chorus, or even of combining two different tunes into a new one. This drives Josh insane. He’ll catch me doing this, and ask me “How does the rest of the song go?” I don’t know why I do this. It is completely unconscious, and unintentionally. It’s usually while I’m doing the dishes. Josh also makes fun of me because I often change keys while singing a song. I do not harmonize very well unless the notes are on the page in front of me (I am an alto after all). I may be musically talented, but I am far from musically gifted, if that makes sense.
7. I’m a tapper. While eating breakfast, I often tap my fingers on the table in between spoonfuls of cereal. While eating dinner, in between forkfuls, I tap my fingers on the table. While listening to a song, I often tap my fingers on the desk or the car door. In between writing sentences, I’ll tap my fingers on the keyboard. I do not know why I do this. It’s quirky, and odd, but I do. And it’s not even a straight beat, and its not to a tune or song in particular for the most part. I also really enjoy having a pen or pencil in my hands so that I can play with it and tap it on something, or click the pen on and off. I also like to play with the remote battery cover, sliding the cover on and off, over and over again.
8. I get edgy when I’m hungry. Feed me and everything will go smoothly. It is often a mistake for Josh and I to go out before I eat lunch; let’s just leave it at that.
What are some of your bad habits, your imperfections, your faults? How have you learned to accept them and try to improve upon them? Do we share any of the same bad habits? If you studied psychology, what do these things say about me? Do you know? I’m curious, so please let me know!
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