I have a confession to make. Two years ago I started a new blog, that I never told anyone about. The blog was called “Feeling the Fire Again” and was about my desire to really feel that burning fire and flame and heat of a strong testimony and deep love of my Savior Jesus Christ.
Because, at the time, I really didn’t feel that. I was active in my church, but I still didn’t feel that passion, but I wanted to, because I had felt it before in my youth. I knew God was real, and that He was there, but I didn’t always feel it. I still don’t always feel it.
And it is in these moments that this song by Julie De Azvedo – Feel the Fire Again” comes into my mind:
I listened to this song a lot as a teenager. I was totally one of those weird Christian highschoolers, for sure. I lived for Early Morning Seminary, Young Women Camps in the summer, Church on Sundays, and activities on Wednesday nights. They were my sanctuary from the storms of high school and friendship drama. I mean, I even chose to go to a church school – Brigham Young University in Provo, UT – because I loved my faith that much. It made sense to me. I had many personal experiences, many great truths confirmed to me at a relatively young age.
But after college, things were so totally different. Life is totally different in the real-world of adulthood. And add marriage and twin babies, little money, only one car, no friends, and things were very different than ever before and I was isolated and lonely, and gone were my regular church activities or people to always be talking to about church-related things. I was just happy to have any adult to talk to on a daily basis there for a while. I had clearly come down off my spiritual high.
And I stayed off it for quite some time.
Over the next few weeks, as I host and run the #BoldChristian 15 Day Challenge, I will be sharing some old posts I wrote, and a few new ones about my faith journey. It still isn’t complete. And I still don’t feel as strong of a burning testimony as I did in my youth, but, I my testimony hasn’t gone away. I still know those things are true. I just don’t have to defend them constantly. But, I still need to do so much more.
Tell me, have you have spiritual highs and lows? When were they? How did you overcome the lows? How did you feel the fire again?