Thank you so much to Katelyn for the invitation to guest post. I read her blog a lot so it is such an honor to be a part of it today! My guest post today relates to several books by Gary Chapman about his Five Love Languages. I’m sharing a series that I call Love Languages Ideas for the Family on my blog Lalymom, and on the blogs of some friends to help spread the word about the Love Languages and to help put them into action. Today I am talking about Words of Affirmation for Husbands.These posts are NOT meant to be used in place of reading the book. There is a lot of understanding that goes into finding your husband’s love languages and nothing can replace the knowledge the Mr. Chapman shares in the books. Once you know your significant other’s love languages though, it helps to have a go-to list of ideas for how to speak his love language, especially if you are not accustomed to speaking it!
One of the love languages discussed in the Love Languages Books is Words of Affirmation.
This one is easy for me because I knew right away it was one of my primary love languages. You can see it in virtually every interaction I have in a given day. I’m a thanker. Like, a super thanker. I thank the guy that filled my water up 15 times at the restaurant, I thank the lady who held the door, I thank LalyDad every time he makes dinner- or even just orders dinner! It may also be that I value Acts of Service but I know that I always appreciate being appreciated. I love hearing when someone likes my idea. When my kids tell me they love me, thank me for something or pay me a compliment, my heart just about explodes.
I’m not saying that saying thank you is all you need to do if this is your spouse’s love language, I’m just demonstrating one way you might start applying it in your life if it is.
15 Ways to Give Words of Affirmation for Husbands
Here is a list for you of ways to start speaking the Love Language of Words of Affirmation for him. If you have more ideas PLEASE share them in the comments, we’d love to hear them but you will be helping others out with ideas too! Download a shorthand printable version of this list to keep handy when you need ideas!
1. Post-it Notes in his wallet – Pick up a pack of mini post-it notes at the store and every day (or just every so often) before your husband leaves, write a little note and stick it in his wallet. It could be anything from a reason you love him, to something he did that made you smile or just a heart and a smiley face. If you don’t feel very creative you can always try out the awesome printable Post-it Love Notes from The Dating Divas.
2. Email or text – Most of our electronic communication with our partners focuses on practical, utilitarian information. “Will you pick up some milk on the way home?” or “Jackie invited us to dinner on Sunday.” You have these tools at your fingertips so you might as well put them to good use to speak your partner’s love language too! Once in a while send a text or email for no other reason to say you love him or tell him how much you are looking forward to a weekend together. If you want to really up your game, check out The Dating Diva’s 365 Love Texts!
3. Affectionate words or nicknames – When you sign off a private communication with your significant other, use affectionate language. If you’ve ever watched Seinfeld you might remember the Schmoopie episode? It might have been funny and overdone in the show, but affection has its place, especially with someone who appreciates words of affirmation. If you are not quite ready to create a brand new cuddly nickname for him, maybe just start by singing off with something simple like XO or “Hugs!”
4. Lunch time note – This is pretty similar to the post it notes in the wallet obviously, but if he has a stressful job, what a nice surprise it would be in the middle of the day to get a lift from your affirming words. All it would take is a simple note in his lunch to let him know you are thinking of him and appreciate his hard work!
5. 1 Second a Day Video – I first learned of the 1 Second a Day App (affiliate link) in a movie called Chef. In the movie, the son of the main character records one second of video every day of a trip that he takes with his dad. At the end, he uses the 1 Second a Day app to stitch them together into an incredibly sweet and memorable video. I think this would be awesome to do either using one second of video of you and your spouse together, or maybe every day you say one word to the camera that would remind you of that day. Maybe you even say a reason you love him every day. Could you imagine how happy this would make your affirmation loving spouse?!
6. Photo book – Along those same lines would be to make photo books from your experiences together. Shutterfly and other online services make this easy. You could either sit down and do it all at once or try to upload a few pictures each month and then print it when the book is full. Or you could do it a more personalized DIY “I Love Us” book that highlights some of your unique memories.
7. Journal – If you want to use good old fashioned handwriting, why not start a gratitude journal? Whether you write one sentence a day or pages of memories at a time, seeing your feelings in writing would be really special for someone who appreciates words of affirmation.
8. Mail letter – Woah. Stop the presses! Did you read that?! MAIL. A. LETTER. Remember that? You’ll need a stamp, envelope, paper and pen but I think you can manage! Don’t we all feel a little special when we receive non-junk mail especially from someone we love? Mail the letter to your spouse at work or home. It will be a great surprise and would really make his day! If you need tips on writing the perfect love letter, The Dating Divas have a great Love Letter of the Month club which gives prompts and tips on how to do it.
9. Love list – Write or type out a list of your partner’s best qualities or of the top 20 best memories you have of him. You could give it to him wrapped up, folded for his wallet, you could frame it, you could laminate it and hang in the door of the medicine cabinet. Whatever you think would be a great way for him to be able to see it often and know he is loved.
10. Message on mirror – You probably remember this one from your childhood – writing on a foggy mirror. Whether it’s drawing a heart with your initials or writing something you love about him, it is the thought that counts and he will know you’re thinking of him!
11. Affirmation appointment – Make a point to tell him one reason you love him at the same time every day. You don’t have to tell him you’re going to do it, just try to remember when you have a quiet moment, whether it’s the moment you wake up, during dinner or before bed. You could tell him a trait of his that first attracted your attention, something he did recently that you really appreciated, or just a simple “I love you.”
12. Everyday Acknowledgement – Acknowledge as many acts of service as possible with gratitude. Like I mentioned above, I like to show others that I care in my own love language by thanking them. I also really try hard to acknowledge creativity, a job well done or good ideas. If you see your spouse has come up with a genius solution to a household problem, or does something well at work or in a hobby, acknowledge that. A genuine “Thank you,” “Good job” or “Wow, nice work” can really be validating for someone with this love language.
13. High Praise – Do you ever talk with friends and family about the things you love and appreciate about your spouse? I know it can be easy to fall into the habit of venting about your differences but give some thought to ways you can spread the good news about your spouse. My husband occasionally tells me that he told his friend about something cool that I did and what his response was to hearing it. It makes me feel great to know he appreciates me so much that he tells his friends.
14. Encourage – Words of affirmation don’t always have to happen after the fact. If your husband has a big deadline coming up at work, listen to him when he talks about it and tell him you know he will do a good job. If he is worrying about something, listen and talk through the issue and encourage him as he deals with it. Tell him to have fun when he heads out to do something fun.
15. Birthday Messages – Every year for his birthday send an email, call or message friends and family reminding everyone of the big day. Ask them to leave messages on the home answering machine, send and email or other birthday wishes. You might even want to add a special request that they tell him something they like about him. And be sure that you do your best to make his birthday extra special. I really love these DIY Birthday Card Printable pack just for husbands!
Laura is mom to two sweet redheads who fuel all the fun over at Lalymom.com. She shares cool kids crafts, fun activities, free printables and parenting tips too! You can follow her by email, on Facebook, Pinterest or Twitter. For more Love Languages ideas and printables head over to Lalymom.com!